I love the draft, but instead of posting a 2013 mock draft like the rest of the world, I'm going in a more interesting direction - a mock draft that ranks the best draft picks of all-time. And by "all-time" I mean the last thirty years. Why thirty? Because thirty years ago marks what is widely considered the best draft ever - 1983 - and is arguably a starting point for the modern NFL. Obviously there are hundreds of guys drafted after #32 that become great players (Brady), but I'm looking at just the first round. The criteria is as follows: how great of a career the player had, the player's value at the position he was drafted and the overall impact on his franchise. Feel free to tell me if you disagree! : )

PEYTON MANNING  (USA TODAY Sports)

1.  Peyton Manning, QB, Tennessee -- Indianapolis Colts, 1998 -- In a position where you'd assume the biggest debate would be, Manning trumps the field relatively easily. John Elway, Bo Jackson, and Eli Manning are disqualified because they never played with the team they were drafted by. Bruce Smith and Troy Aikman are first ballot Hall of Famers, but no one would argue they were better players or meant more to their franchise than Peyton. Cam Newton and Andrew Luck are potentially the league's next great superstars, but it's hard to say either of them are in, or will ever be in, Manning's territory. 

2.  Eric Dickerson, RB, Southern Methodist -- Los Angeles Rams, 1983 -- If the first pick was simple, the second pick is impossible. You could debate for days who was better: Dickerson, Marshall Faulk ('94), Donovan McNabb ('99), Calvin Johnson ('07), RGIII ('12). They all have a case, but it's hard to ignore Dickerson's crazy stat sheet (remember, this was back when 1,000 yards was hard to get).

3.  Barry Sanders, RB, Oklahoma State -- Detroit Lions, 1989

4.  Derrick Thomas, LB, Alabama -- Kansas City Chiefs, 1989

5.  Deion Sanders, CB, Florida State -- Atlanta Falcons, 1989 -- Even though he won Super Bowls with the 49ers and Cowboys, Deion's years as a Falcon were statistically his best. He had 24 interceptions and 3 touchdowns in just 5 years. It's tough to overlook the two Chargers - Junior Seau ('90) and LaDainian Tomlinson ('01) - but Prime Time was not only a great player for Atlanta, but gave the team a personality. Exhibit A below...

BEST. PICTURE. EVER.

6.  Tim Brown, WR, Notre Dame -- Los Angeles Raiders, 1988

7.  Adrian Peterson, RB, Oklahoma -- Minnesota Vikings, 2007 -- Sterling Sharpe in '89 and Champ Bailey in '99 are great candidates, but All-Day takes it. He's just so money.

8.  Willie Roaf, T, Louisiana Tech -- New Orleans Saints, 1993

9.  Bruce Matthews, G, USC -- Houston Oilers, 1983 -- Matthews played for the Houston/Tennessee franchise from 1983-2001. In those 19 seasons he played all 16 games every time except once! He went to the Hall of Fame in 2007. Matthews beats out Brian Urlacher and my homeboy C.J. Spiller (yea...I'm a homer).

10.  Rod Woodson, CB, Purdue -- Pittsburgh Steelers, 1987

11.  Ben Roethlisberger, QB, Miami (OH) -- Pittsburgh Steelers, 2004 -- This might be the toughest call of all 32. I'm picking Big Ben, but you could also go with Michael Irvin ('88), Dwight Freeney ('02), Patrick Willis ('07) or J.J. Watt ('11). Keep an eye on the 11 spot in this year's draft - it will likely produce a big time player!

12.  Warren Sapp, DT, Miami (FL) -- Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 1995

13.  Tony Gonzalez, TE, California -- Kansas City Chiefs, 1997

14.  Jim Kelly, QB, Miami (FL) -- Buffalo Bills, 1983

15.  Mike Pouncey, C, Florida -- Miami Dolphins, 2011 -- If #11 is usually a baller, #15 is usually a disappointment. Pouncey is a good player and should anchor the Miami offensive line for years to come, but his best competition at 15 was Jason Pierre-Paul (who has only had one great year) and Lamar Lathon (an above average linebacker for the Oilers and Panthers).

16.  Jerry Rice, WR, Mississippi Valley State -- San Francisco 49ers -- The best receiver ever looks like a steal at 16.

17.  Emmitt Smith, RB, Florida -- Dallas Cowboys, 1990

18.  Joe Flacco, QB, Delaware -- Baltimore Ravens, 2008

19.  Marvin Harrison, WR, Syracuse -- Indianapolis Colts, 1996

20.  Steve Atwater, S, Arkansas -- Denver Broncos, 1989 -- Atwater beats out every other #20 pick by miles (Will Wolford, Haywood Jefferies, Dwayne Rudd). He kind of flies under the radar now that it's been 14 years since he retired, but Atwater was a 2-time first team All-Pro, 8-time Pro Bowler and was the leader of the Denver defense his entire career.

21.  Randy Moss, WR, Marshall -- Minnesota Vikings, 1998

22.  Demaryius Thomas, WR, Georgia Tech -- Denver Broncos, 2010 -- I'm a fan...check it out.

23.  Ty Law, CB, Michigan -- New England Patriots, 1995 -- The 23 spot is a pick 'em. I'm going with Law, but Dwayne Bowe ('07), Steven Jackson ('04), Antoine Winfield ('99) or Jim Jeffcoat ('83) could all be reasonable here. 

24.  Aaron Rodgers, QB, California -- Green Bay Packers, 2005 -- Rodgers takes #24, but there are some serious playmakers in this lineup: Dez Bryant, Chris Johnson, Ed Reed, Eric Moulds. 

25.  Santonio Holmes, WR, Ohio State -- Pittsburgh Steelers, 2006 -- Flat out the worst number on the list. I'm not much of a Holmes fan, although he clearly has had success in the league (Super Bowl MVP, etc.). Other candidates were Dont'a Hightower ('12), Vontae Davis ('09), Jason Campbell ('05), Ted Washington ('91), Louis Oliver ('89), and...saving the best for last...Tim Tebow ('10). Maybe the Seahawks knew what they were doing when they traded the 25th pick in this year's draft to the Vikings. Good luck, Minnesota. You'll need it.

26.  Ray Lewis, LB, Miami (FL) -- Baltimore Ravens, 1996

RAY LEWIS  (Getty Images)

27.  Dan Marino, QB, Pittsburgh -- Miami Dolphins, 1983

28.  Darrell Green, CB, Texas A&M-Kingsville -- Washington Redskins, 1983 -- I told you '83 was the best.

29.  Chris Spielman, LB, Ohio State -- Detroit Lions, 1988

30.  Reggie Wayne, WR, Miami (FL) -- Indianapolis Colts, 2001

31.  Nnamdi Asomugha, CB, California -- Oakland Raiders, 2003 -- People forget, but Asomugha was considered the shut-down corner in the league before Revis came along. He's a 4-time All-Pro and 3-time Pro Bowler. Side note: How do get awarded All-Pro, but not make the Pro Bowl? Reason #143 why the Pro Bowl is lame.

32.  Henry Ellard, WR, Fresno State -- Los Angeles Rams, 1983 -- One more time for 1983. Ellard is a 2-time All-Pro and is currently 10th all-time in receiving yards. There's a strong case to be made for Drew Brees, but San Diego bailed on him and handed the ball to Phillip Rivers instead. It's hard to say he was a great pick when they moved on after 4 years as a starter. San Diego's loss was New Orleans' gain.

Screen shot 2013-01-01 at 11.56.15 AM.png
Posted
AuthorWilliam Tuttle

If you're unfamiliar with the premise of these lists, scroll down until you hit another one - you'll find a full explanation. But lets be honest...if you can't grasp what's happening here you may have bigger problems.

--

Most likely to never win another Super Bowl: Joe Flacco

Most likely to win the Super Bowl next year: Russell Wilson

Most likely to be the first QB taken in the Draft: Geno Smith

Most likely to realize that Ryan Tannehill is not Ben Roethlisberger (but then realize he doesn't care when he looks at his paycheck): Mike Wallace

  GENO SMITH   (Al Tielemans/SI)

GENO SMITH  (Al Tielemans/SI)

Most likely to be on the cover of Madden NFL 25 (aka: Madden '14): Colin Kaepernick

Most likely to be laughed at 10 years from now when people discuss the once heated, "This Guy versus Sidney Crosby Debate": Alex Ovechkin

Most likely to lead the NFL in receptions for first downs next season: Danny Amendola

Most likely to win another Golden Globe - if not an Emmy - for Best Comedy: Girls (and I'm not just saying this because of last Sunday's controversial/amazing episode, although it was amazingly controversial)

Most likely to win a Golden Globe - and hopefully an Emmy - for Best Supporting Actor: Adam Driver, Girls (read above)

Most likely to be dubbed "Thunder and Lightning" by the Atlanta media in the next 24 hours: Steven Jackson and Jacquizz Rodgers

Screen shot 2013-01-01 at 11.56.15 AM.png

Now that everyone on planet earth has uploaded a Harlem Shake video to YouTube, let's rank 'em! Don't worry...I've narrowed it down to my top 5. The criteria is as follows: Creativity, Humor, Characters, Dancing, Film Quality. The 5 finalists will be scored on a cumulative point system - highest total wins. Good luck to the contestants!

--

5. Ball State University Swim & Dive Team -- Published on Feb 14, 2013 -- 2,570,921 hits

Creativity (5), Humor (2), Characters (2), Dancing (3), Film Quality (5). Total = 17

Creativity and Film Quality are why Ball State makes my top 5. Filming this many people and props underwater is an amazing feat. Granted, it didn't make me laugh, nor was I wowed with any of the actual "dance" moves, but how could you not be impressed with how long they hold their breath?

--

4. University of Texas at Austin -- Published on Feb 13, 2013 -- 6,852,974 hits

Creativity (3), Humor (2), Characters (4), Dancing (4), Film Quality (5). Total = 18

This one makes the list not because it's overly funny or has great characters, but because it's just so big. Having never been to this campus, they seemingly picked the perfect spot to film 1,000 kids acting like fools while still framing the scene with definitive campus architecture.

--

3. Manchester City Football Club -- Published on Feb 20, 2013 -- 5,613,929 hits

Creativity (4), Humor (5), Characters (5), Dancing (3), Film Quality (4). Total = 21

Love the characters!! From the out of control Spiderman, to the perfectly still suspender dude, to the underwear guy being pushed around in a cart. 

--

2. Miami Heat -- Published on Feb 28, 2013 -- 20,430,703 hits

Creativity (3), Humor (4), Characters (5), Dancing (5), Film Quality (5). Total = 22

This is the video that took the Harlem Shake from viral sensation to mainstream news. I guess the most famous athlete in America will do that to things. That said, this one has almost everything - a perfect opening with The Birdman, funny characters (particularly Dwayne Wade in the bear head), good costumes, a great camera angle, plus, LeBron getting back to the days of not taking himself too seriously.

--

1. Sea World, San Antonio -- Published Feb 16, 2013 -- 6,145,070 hits

Creativity (5), Humor (5), Characters (5), Dancing (4), Film Quality (5). Total = 24

Hands down my favorite. This one has it all. And by all, I literally mean all. It features a Pacific walrus, who by virtue of his/her size and shape, is the funniest character in any of the 5 videos. Not to be outdone are the Sea Lions, especially the one on the right, who is moving to the beat in perfect rhythm. The maid on the far left seems completely out of place, in turn, making her fit in perfectly. I love how they frame the scene against the backdrop of the Sea World set, as if you were actually in the stands. Congrats on being my favorite Harlem Shake!

Screen shot 2013-01-01 at 11.56.15 AM.png

Remember how your high school yearbook had the "Most Likely to be President" guy or the "Most Likely to be Famous" girl? Of course you do, even if you're trying to block those years from your memory forever. In honor of that awkward tradition, I've created The Football Chik's, Most Likely List - a weekly (but don't hold me to that) 10-point list of bold predictions about sports, culture, music, movies, reality tv, absolute nonsense, and of course...football!

--

Most likely to not be as efficient as he was early last year (especially if he doesn't have Dwayne Bowe), but still be an upgrade from Matt Cassel and lead the Chiefs to playoff contention in a weak division: Alex Smith

Most likely to never start another meaningful game in the NFL again: Matt Cassel

Most likely to become the darling of Hollywood and get any part she wants: Jennifer Lawrence

Most likely to not rush for more yards than Adrian Peterson next year even though he said he would: Chris Johnson

You're telling me one of these people is 46 years older than the other?  (Getty Images)

Most likely to be considered the best player in the 2013 NFL Draft by the end of next season: Jarvis Jones

Most likely to be caught lying about her age: Adele (she is the oldest looking 24 year old on the planet).

Most likely to never host the Oscars again (by his own admission): Seth MacFarlane

Most likely to not be a Green Bay Packer next season: Jermichael Finely

Most likely to be villainized for everything he does: LeBron James

Most likely to go down as the best player of all time (for serious): LeBron James

Screen shot 2013-01-01 at 11.56.15 AM.png

Remember how your high school yearbook had the "Most Likely to be President" guy or the "Most Likely to be Famous" girl? Of course you do, even if you're trying to block those years from your memory forever. In honor of that awkward tradition, I've created The Football Chik's, Most Likely List - a weekly (but don't hold me to that) 10-point list of bold predictions about sports, culture, music, movies, reality tv, absolute nonsense, and of course...football!

--

  KYRIE IRVING , CLEVELAND CAVALIERS

KYRIE IRVING, CLEVELAND CAVALIERS

Most likely to lead the NFL in passing yards next year: Matt Ryan

Most likely to be a 2013 fantasy sleeper: DuJuan Harris

Most likely to sleep late and miss his Wonderlic test: Tyler Bray

Most likely to win Best Actor on Sunday: Daniel Day-Lewis

Most likely starting running back that will lose playing time to younger up-start: Ray Rice

Most likely to get a huge jump in jersey sales based on his All-Star Weekend performance and this move: Kyrie Irving

Most likely Grammy winner that you'll never hear from again: Gotye

Most likely to impress at the Combine: Geno Smith

Most likely to kill it at the Oscars: Ben Affleck in his Best Picture acceptance speech

Most likely to see the biggest increase in touches because of his new coach: LeSean McCoy

Screen shot 2013-01-01 at 11.56.15 AM.png